First of all, there is no clear definition for love, everyone defines love in a way they look at it, in a way they give it. Growing up, whenever we were asked in school what love meant, the students would say “love is a confusion between two fools” much as they weren’t entirely correct, I can’t say they were wrong because to be honest when people are in love, they tend to do even the unthinkable. Some things they do just don’t make sense. I personally say, and I stand to be corrected, love is a strong feeling of affection towards a person and this can be in many ways , family, agape, friendship and erotic. In a day to day world, loving someone will mean you can give them gifts, stay with them, help them when they are stuck, pray for them and very many acts of affection but then you find that with time, these things fade you stop doing things for these people, you stop coming through for them, and stop saying the things you used to say to them and it leaves these people wondering if you really loved them.
There are very many things that look like love and if one is not woke enough to see through them they will forever think love is an illusion. Some people love the idea of being with a person, other people love the way a person loves them, others are looking for validation and others love the fact that this person loves the things they like least about themselves.

They say one can not give what they do not have and it’s true. Take for example, if you find a beggar on the streets asking for money and you do not have a single penny with you because you spent it all on the food you are holding in your hands and you really want to help them, you will find that instead of the money, you will give them the food or some of the food because it is what you can have to offer. So, you find that when it comes to love, it’s more or less the same thing. You must have love to give love and by having love, I mean you must love yourself truly and wholesomely and be filled with self love and only then will you be able to give out love because you will have it. Even the Bible says “love your neighbor as you love yourself” this means that you can not live anyone anymore or any less than you love yourself anything short of that is not true love. In order to be able to gain that love that you will eventually be able to give here are some of the things you must put into consideration.

  1. Love involves acceptance
    To say you love yourself, you must accept yourself fully and the person you are. Your traits, your physique, the good and bad things about you.( this is of course after you realize that certain things can’t be changed) These things are a part of you and the more you live in denial, the harder it is for you to love yourself because you will constantly heart these things about you. If you accept yourself, it will be easier for you to accept other people and this is most especially because of the differences we have.
  2. Forgiveness
    I know it is difficult to forgive and forget but you can never truly love if yo do not forgive and forget. You must be able to forgive yourself and forget that wrong or else it will keep haunting you and you will fail to live with it and this is why we find people commuting suicide because there is part of them that they can’t live with which brings me to the question, aren’t these people capable of killing other people? In order to give love, you must learn how to forgive yourself because only then will you be able to forgive others or the people we claim we love.
  3. Love is kind.
    You can’t be kind to someone else unless you are kind to yourself. You can never know kindness until you experience it and the person only way to experience this kindness is by giving it to yourself. Stop being mean to yourself.

Love is very wide and everyone has their own theory but I believe if you are able to be kind, to forgive and to accept yourself, you will not have a problem doing it with someone else and everything else somehow falls in place such as taking someone on dates, giving gifts along others because then you will have love to give.