“Sexual assault is an act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. It is a form of sexual violence, which includes child sexual abuse, groping, rape (forced vaginal, anal, or oral penetration or a drug facilitated sexual assault), or the torture of the person in a sexual manner.”
“Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.”
I decided to begin this write-up with those definitions so that everyone can understand what RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT means, how it’s done and to whom. Rape/ sexual assault can cause trauma, turmoil, suicide, depression, to mention but a few. The amount of turmoil that act causes cannot be fathomed by anyone that has not experienced it because it breaks you everyday of your life and at any second. You wake up feeling utter disgust towards yourself, regret, anger, pain, in need of answers and so much more that cannot be said and that is if you got any sleep. Today I woke up ready to ramble ready to put it out there that sexual assault is something one can never recover from because it’s done to your body but it destroys your soul, creases your mind and leaves you feeling lifeless. You keep telling yourself the bruises can be hidden the scars will disappear and keep telling yourself anything that can help you sleep at night but it only gets worse because the trauma is deep in your body deeper than you think. You will talk about it, journal, cry, distract yourself, pray so hard the angels feel your pain, get therapy but it all DOES NOT GO AWAY all these are temporary solutions however positive you get. But guess what?? instead it will have you second guessing your brother/sister, father/mother, boyfriend/girlfriend best friend and everyone. You’ll pull away from your friends and you won’t even realise it the trauma turns into your everyday life where you eat, how you move, what you think about, who you talk to, all down to whatever you call the smallest detail of your daily routine. You find yourself staring into space and all of it washing over you like it just happened. One second you’re happy and enjoying yourself, and the next you just want to be crawled up in bed and crying. Being assaulted is one thing but being repeatedly assaulted, it’s by God’s Grace I’m still here nothing else when this happens, you cannot explain why you are crying during brunch with your friends or why you suddenly don’t trust to tell the people you told everything. Whoever you are do not defend, hide, explain for a rapist or anyone that assaults people because the more you do that the faster this cycle repeats and more lives are put through turmoil. Also please do not tell victims that they are strong, brave, or any of that crap because absolutely no one wants to feel brave or strong for something they did not sign up for it’s not the goddamn army.
This is a very serious offence that is punishable by law but the law has a process which many may call loopholes because of the pain and trauma and anger. But the law however sad it maybe too believe, it is in such a way that it seeks justice for the accused too because they do nit want them to get wrongfully accused and some go free as predators. While the victims go through insufferable trauma, accusing someone of rape or assault can pretty much cause a crisis in one’s life. This is because even when proven innocent and all charges dropped, it can cost you your career, distrust, relationships, and so much more in the end causing depression, anxiety and suicide. The end goal is to stop sexual assault and get justice for the victims but not at the expense of others because this creates a cycle of causes that only brings about more pain.
BY KEMIGISA MARIA