THE ENDLESS LOOP OF WOMEN’S PLIGHT

Woke up Black, Beautiful and Smart yet again!! A mantra I tell myself every morning to get myself through the day. I must say, it works like a charm until I open my phone and someone is crying because they’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted. Turn on the news and what have we— a bunch of politicians putting our right to safety up for debate, making policies to aid the predators irregardless of the ever spiking numbers of women being killed for chasing their dreams, having fun, and just for being WOMEN!!! It rubbishes my mantra and all the courage it took to get myself ready to face the day. Why?! Why did the flame of my mantra only live so long? Because my reality as woman in this wreckage of a world takes me back 100 steps on the work I’m doing within myself and for others. How do I even start to really believe that I am beautiful and loved and valued in a world that couldn’t care less if i fall prey to a hungry beast’s sexual urges??? How do you convince your friend that it gets better when the situation is literally getting worse? How do you assure them that there are solutions to these atrocities yet the solutions never work? What do you tell a victim you are trying to help when the predator keeps winning and finding more creative ways to destroy them? How do you instill the hope for light in someone you’re stuck with in a tunnel that has no ending?

Do you know how bad it has to be for you to abruptly stop your day’s activities just to say “ I hate men!” Because if you don’t say it you feel heavy in the chest and saying it feels like one form of realise. And suddenly, it hits you with the wave of emotions, drowning you and pulling you down back to rock bottom because the reasons as to why you say it become vivid once again and rip open old scars. And then again for something to have a scar it has to have healed first, but alas, some wounds they never do. Then you recall that one male friend that violated you but you thought it was normal yet they knew they were taking advantage of you. Now your whole week is ruined because you feel violated and stupid all over again! The self disgust at the memory of his hands exploiting you now has you choking back tears every time you look in the mirror or hear their namesake being called in the streets. Must really be nice to wake up male and know you can do whatever you please! Hell it must be euphoric to wake up male and know you can choose to do whatever you want and not face the consequences! Must really be nice to have a jolly good laugh with your mates about a girl you made anxious because you followed her closely just for the thrill of it. That chat with your mates is for 5 minutes, but the anxiety and damage you make on that woman or girl is for a lifetime because now they have to look over their shoulders wherever they are and question everyone they are with. It’s called losing trust in the environment and even worse self!
I hate it here for me. I hate it here for women!

BY KEMIGISA MARIA