SCARED TO BE LONELY
If you’re familiar with Dua Lipa’s oh-so electrifying voice, the title probably rang a bell. Are you scared to be lonely? Am I scared to be lonely? Well, who isn’t! Truthfully, we’re all scared of being alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not referring to solitude or introversion, I mean the kind of loneliness that happens because you’re not sharing your life with anyone; be it friends, acquaintances, or family but yourself. Sounds a lot like a character’s backstory from a horror film or a serial killer documentary right? This is the kind of loneliness where no one’s for you, and no one loves you or cares the least about you. The kind of alone that sucks the will to live out of your bones and turns your life into nothing but a meaningless trek. The kind of alone that creeps up on you- suffocates you, and wrings your heart and makes you cry till you shudder because there’s no one to turn to for a smile or a hug, no one to share secrets and inside jokes with-aren’t we all scared of this?! not having a ‘someone’ at all? Of course, we are! No one deserves this kind of loneliness, no one wants it, as a matter of fact we all try to run from it. It is in our nature as humans to be scared of being alone.
We depend on companionship because it is natural for us to need love and seek the warmth of its fire; and even more importantly, expressing and showing affection is also part and parcel of human nature. Why is this important for us to know? Why is it crucial for us to understand that feeling love, needing to be loved, and expressing love are entirely normal things-not weaknesses, or hyperboles of sentiment? Because we need to do away with the shame we feel about not wanting to be alone; to not feel embarrassed about needing a hug now and again, or needing that extra assurance that we’re loved. Needless to say, the notion that we all need love cuts across all relationships; romantically, platonically, et cetera; these are all connections and different kinds of love that we rely on because they make living worthwhile. This quote sounds so cliché but ‘no man is an island.’Being a lone wolf sure does make us look so independent and macho, but you know, time and again, we all need that comfort that we’re cared for; that we’re special in some way to someone; that we are a person they treasure dearly; a friend, a partner, a daughter/son, a parent, and so on.
You may not see it right away, but if you look close enough and think deeply about it, you’ll actually realize that love is not overrated, in fact, it is very underrated! Henceforth, don’t be afraid of love; embrace it, accept it, give it, receive it, believe in it, treasure it, enjoy it; we’re all scared of not being loved anyway so go ahead and love someone. Being completely alone frightens us all because when all is said and done, no one wants a life that’s never known the joys of love. So, take time off being ‘hard’, love someone and let someone love you!!!
BY LEON INKSMITTEN