ANXIETY VISITED

Silent night, but it doesn’t quite come close to the christmas eve merry merry joyful kind of silent and serene night, but rather, it is a silent night only because all the noise is up in your head, its resonance throbbing all the way deep into the marrow of your bones, brewing up restlessness in your spirit, stirring up your emotions and keeping you awake only to spring upon you a rewind of your dreadful mistakes.Your mind turning into a haunted house party with the now awakened demons of your past playing a drinking game; like a guest invited to witness your own demise, you’re reliving the worst moments of your life, this would be a nightmare but you’re wide awake, what could be worse than this? The waves of insecurity hit again, its creepy fingers picking at your old scars till they bleed out like fresh wounds, “ i thought i was over this!” Well, now you know, insecurity has got more than nine lives! 

The tossing and turning doesn’t help, the loud music doesn’t fade out the noise, neither does the break of dawn spare you from the tribulations of an anxious soul as your heart too begins to spiral out of control, making demands for its long neglected void to be filled. It walks back and forth in time rifling through memories from moments you’ll never get back to seek comfort from faded beauty that once was, sniffing the footprints of lost loves while simultaneously coming back to the present at full speed, stepping out of its lane to collide with hearts, diving head first into oceans of love’s fire from slight impulse to risk it all again, only to end up bruised, nursing wounds that a second thought would have spared you. 

You’ve lost count of the silent nights, anxiety over stayed its visit; uninvited guests, how do you ward off those? 

LEONINKSMITTEN