A LOST LOVE

He loved me first
I pushed him far
He showed me love
I showed him pride
He asked me out
I laughed out loud
His heart was hurt
My heart was taut
He left me for her
That I did not doubt
But it made me sad…
Why does it make me sad?
Why does less of his attention
make me so furious and gloomy
Yet that is what I called for?
Why does it bother me that
she now occupied his mind
Yet I despised his thoughts of me?
Why does my mind now fill
with jealousy and agitation
when his hands hold her firm?
Why do the voices
in my head now scream,
“It should be my waist engulfed
in his thick masculine arms”
Yet the same voices sighed in relief
whenever he was gone?
Why do I wish that its
my eyes that he gets lost in
as he tries to find himself
with a wild stare?
Why does karma have to be so rude
to give me a taste of my own poison
and turn tables…
tables with edges I sharpened with time
as they cut through my skin so deep
and leave me to bleed till my last gasp?

Sometimes love knocks on our doors but we are too busy catching our pride we end up missing out on what could have been a happy ever after.
What is true love? How do you know it’s the right person? When is the right time to say yes? Where do we find true love?
Truth be told, I also don’t have the answers to these questions but,

Love is not forced,
you can’t love something
if you have nothing that
connects you to it reminding
you of the reason you love it,
making it hard to live without it

Love is selfish,
you can’t love something
if you are willing to give it away
or even lend it out because
no one values it the way you do…
not every one knows how precious
It is to you!

Love is blind,
It makes you overlook the flaws
of that you love and
learn to appreciate that you like
even when you hurt
because you can see
beyond what everyone sees..

Love is magical,
Sometimes there are wounds
Only love can heal…
Deep cuts that would fail surgery
but only love can stitch
because surgeons don’t operate souls
but love can

Love is not sought
It’s either there or not
We never learn how to love
It’s a genuine feeling one
finds without investigating
or researching for signs
If it doesn’t find you then
It’s not there, try elsewhere.

Let’s free ourselves from the toxicity of bearing the love for both parties in the relationship! Everyone deserves to find love that is not one sided, to find a companion that completes them and above all someone that brings joy when all they have is pain.

BY BIRUNGI AGATHA